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First, you are threatening a child, which makes them fearful of you.Second, the threat is usually not something that is feasible to do (we are going home, you are going straight to bed, you don’t get dinner, you are grounded for a week, etc.) What we say in frustration is not only impractical but easily forgettable. You can train yourself to be clear and concise, using choices.

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I can’t tell you the number of times I hear that phrase when around other parents, even though it is highly ineffective.“If you choose to (continue that behavior), you choose to (receive whatever consequence has already been established as a punishment)”.You might say, “Erin, if you choose to poke your sister again, you choose to not watch TV for the rest of the day”.So, you can say “Walk, please” instead of “No running”. Children are programmed to question, analyze and wonder about situations.I have spent a good deal of time on articles on the difference between Praise vs. This can sometimes present itself in an argumentative manner, but this is actually a normal part of development.

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